GODETIAS

by Gemma Church

Eight letters.
I’d never heard of GODETIAS until I started listening to Countdown. Never watched it neither cos I was at school… or bunking off, if you want the truth.

Anyway, two contestants (complete nerds) pick nine random letters. Then, they’ve got to get the longest word in 30 seconds while the Countdown clock ticks down.

Sounds dumb, right? But I’ve learned loads of new words.

GODETIAS comes up a lot because certain letter combos are more likely.

ASTEROID.

RODENTIA.

ORDINATE.

Eight letters.

Popular and anagrams of each other.

FAVOURITE.

Nine letters.

Claire’s the favourite. She’s smart. Went to uni. Left me with…

RELATIONS.

The most popular niner.

PHYSICIAN.

Nine letters but rare.

They came into my room today, RELATIONS and PHYSICIAN.
I was annoyed cos they turned the TV off.

PHYSICIAN spewed out loads of (nine-plus) words that I couldn’t understand. I stopped listening, cos I was pissed about missing the end of Countdown.

When PHYSICIAN left, RELATIONS started arguing. Again.

The worst thing was, I had to lie here, listening to the same old…

BULLSHIT.

Eight letters.

Countdown allows swear words, if they’re in the dictionary.

VEGETABLE.

Niner. Not popular. What RELATIONS called me.

But they’re wrong. I’m still in here and I’ve found something I’m good at and I’m going to go on Countdown and prove that I’m no…

WASTER.

Six letters. Crap Countdown word. But everyone’s FAVOURITE word to describe me.

Want to know the worst bit about lying here?

Claire hasn’t visited.

That’s hit me hard.

Harder than when Claire blocked me on her socials.

But not as hard as the tree that I drove RELATIONS’ car into.

I just wanted someone to see me.

Now, I’m trapped in my head.

Listening to Countdown.

Praying Claire visits and, maybe, brings me a bunch of GODETIAS.

About the Author

Gemma lives and works in Cambridgeshire with her husband, two sons, and one dog. She loves all things science fact and fiction with two degrees in physics and currently leads content at a quantum computing company. She has an Undergraduate Diploma in Creative Writing from Cambridge University, studied at The Faber Academy and is working on a sci-fi children’s novel with The Golden Egg Academy. Gemma’s SFF short stories appear in numerous publications. She is also a very proud Countdown teapot owner and discovered the word GODETIAS (amongst others) during her spell on the show. Find her @gemmakchurch.